Retroland

BB Bats

Some candies are so teeth-adhesive that one wonders if a dentist invented them. And while the little rectangular suckers known as BB Bats might not have been invented by one of these white-coat-wearing sadists, they have probably made as many dentists smile as the kids that chomp into them.

Valley Girl

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Like, oh my god, there was once this faraway place where teenage girls like totally created their own bitchin’ subculture and language. All right, perhaps it wasn’t so far away - a stone’s throw from downtown Los Angeles actually, in the suburban San Fernando Valley. These trendy inhabitants came to be lovingly known as Valley Girls, thanks to a memorable 1981 Frank Zappa song, “Valley Girl” in which he and his daughter Moon Unit openly mocked their lifestyle and their “Valspeak.” Two years later, the romantic comedy Valley Girl was released, paying homage to this little slice of Southern California subculture. And the result was nothing short of gnarly…fer sure.

Candy Cigarettes

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Years before the public fully understood the dangers associated with smoking tobacco, it was glamorized to no end in movies and on television. And youngsters weren’t immune to the allure of their favorite hero suavely dangling a cigarette from his or her mouth. Eager to imitate the image, but a little too young for the real thing, we settled for candy cigarettes. Now a tyke could hang out on the street corner, a miniature James Dean or Bette Davis, showing that they too had what it took to look tough (fake pack rolled neatly in the sleeve of their shirt.) Eventually, of course, nicotine addiction became frowned upon and so did confectionery replicas of cigarettes, who finally lost their…cool.

Bozo the Clown

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Few clowns have ever enjoyed the same enduring popularity as the lovable red-haired, white-faced icon known as Bozo. For over half a century, literally dozens of men have donned the floppy shoes and red nose for the television cameras and endeared Bozo the clown to generations of young viewers.

Tournament of Roses Parade

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You've dragged yourself out of bed after staying up late to watch the ball drop in Times Square. Somewhat bleary-eyed, you reach for the television remote to watch yet another time-honored tradition. Across the screen, a steady stream of flower-laden floats pass through thousands of cheering spectators. This isn't just any morning; it's the start of a brand new year! And what better way to kick things off than the annual Tournament of Roses Parade, live from the streets of Pasadena, California?

Girl Scout Cookies

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What sort of ogre could look a smiling little girl in the eye and refuse her a cookie sale? Luckily for the Girl Scouts of America, it would appear that these monsters are few and far between. For nearly a century, we have anxiously awaited their annual arrival, and gobbled up these tasty treats to the tune of 200 million boxes sold each year.

ABC Afterschool Special

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Learning can be fun! At least, that was the ABC Network’s stance when it came to programming for children and teens. With its series of after school specials, ABC managed to deliver some worthwhile lessons and coin a phrase at the same time. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, the TV movies taught us all a valuable lesson about pretty much everything, from proper nutrition to the dangers of drug and alcohol.

Speak & Spell

Burple

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A nice cool drink is a welcome addition to any hot day, but how many beverage containers conveniently convert into a super-soaking toy after consumption? Actually, there is only one that we know of and thy name is Burple. What's that you say? You don't remember Burple? One can hardly blame you, for this was a very short lived product, only appearing on the market for a couple of years in the late 80s. But if you were a proud member of the Burple demographic during that era, you might just remember these accordion-esque containers that packed some punch. Let's remember together, shall we?