Toys were simpler back in the day, weren’t they? It was almost enough for a toy to a)make a nifty sound or b)have flickering lights. Anything else was just gravy. Romper Stompers had no lights but they sure made up for it by making the loudest, clompiest sound ever heard since horses started wearing metal shoes.

Romper Stompers were first introduced on the hit children’s show, Romper Room and generated such demand among the toddlers of America that the Romper Room production company decided to market the toys. Two upside-down plastic cups were secured over a child’s feet with a green plastic cord that was long enough to be taken in hand for added safety. Raised almost six inches off the ground, you could trample and stomp all that stood before you in yellow plastic glee. It was best to go gallivanting on your Stompers over linoleum, tile or concrete so they could make their signature loud racket: clomp, clomp, clomp, clomp.

Both boys and girls enjoyed Romper Stompers, albeit for different reasons. They could pretend they were huge monsters rampaging through a Lilliputian town or simply relishing the opportunity to walk in high heels. We don’t know who exactly pretended what exactly. The darn things were just fun. Of course, nothing is more fun than a little bit of danger and Romper Stompers posed a serious threat to uncoordinated kids who acquired very sore bottoms after falling from such dizzying heights. Also not quite so stable were the many homemade versions of Romper Stompers, constructed from anything cup- and cord-like. Jeez, Mom and Dad, couldn’t you shell out a few bucks for the officially endorsed version?